Why Men Don't go to Church

It’s time for some real talk. I gotta warn you: if you’re a Christian or a pastor, you may find my words offensive. That’s not my concern. I’m just uterlly honest enough to keep things real with you. Men don't go to church not because the are less-spiritual or because they don't love God. There are few reason I've put together here. You want the truth, then read on.

1. One sided Sermons

When you visit churches nowadays, its evident the focus of most pastors and their ministry is on young single women with kids. And by young I mean early 20’s to mid 40’s. 

Most of the preaching is designed to appeal to female sensibilities. “Are you hurting, and feel like you need Jesus to wrap his arms around you?” Too many feel good, gummy-bear messages designed to make people feel good. I’m sorry, but messages like these only turn men away from Jesus.

Men want to be taught. Appeal to our sense of logic and level-headed thinking. Don’t just put on a bunch of happy music and expect the men present to dance their way down to the altar. Men need discipline, not hugs and emotions. 

2. Emasculation of Men

When was the last time besides Father’s Day you even heard your pastor speak a pro-masculine message? Don’t think too hard... I don’t want you popping a blood vessel! Too many pastors are too busy preaching messages to please their majority female audiences. 

They’ve become teachers of those with itching ears, preaching false hope of positivity and ‘all will be fine as long as you pay your tithes’, instead of giving those same women the truth that they need. 

They’ve suppressed godly male assertiveness, opting instead to “be nice.” They have abdicated their calling to “speak the truth” in the interest of political correctness.

And they have decided that manipulating people with emotional self-help books and anecdotal sermonizing is better for the bottom line than training and teaching the men in their congregations to be leaders and warriors for Christ. And as a result, the evangelical church is suffering from a dearth of real men.

What’s needed is good solid biblically-based teaching. Teach the people how to discipline their lives by the teachings of Jesus Christ. Stop making Jesus out to be some soft pushovever.

3. Too much emphasis on tithes and offerings. 

Let’s keep it 100%: if a man smells a scam, you ain’t getting his money! And if he’s married, you ain’t getting his wife’s money either!. Today’s churches have become maniacal about money. 

4.They have to work

As companies downsize and lay-offs lurk around every corner, men feel compelled to work as much as they can to provide some measure of security for their families. Neglecting their own spiritual growth is a small sacrifice for men who desire to keep their families out of dire straits.

5. Insensitive Pulpit 

Several of the men interviewed during a survey agreed that the church is unsympathetic to their plights. Since many men attend church to mend their battered egos, they get upset when the minister adds insult to injury by attacking them in his sermon.

“I admit that men are victims of an insensitive pulpit,” said one of the men. Historically, ministers have spewed unintended condemnations toward men. Now they are rebelling against the church by not showing up. Others said "Men don't go to church because the church doesn't feed the God in the man".

6. The Gospel Is Absent.

The unfortunate truth is that many mainline traditional churches have lost ground with younger Christians because these churches have lost the priority of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Emphasis upon social ills, voting rights, public safety, and economic development are good, but they are poor substitutes for the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

When the church focuses more on its social agenda than it does on the person and work of Christ (his life, death, and resurrection), repentance, the forgiveness of sin, and reconciliation with God, then it loses the one thing that separates it from the world. One does not need to go to church to attend a political rally, to march against injustice, to get out the vote, or to raise the economic base of the family. 

Those priorities are offered by the world in abundance. When the church makes such things its primary focus, it lowers itself and fails to offer the one thing the world needs most, the thing that only the church can give: the gospel of Jesus Christ.

-Ephraim Davies